


Greener Pastures

by thelolbells



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Kinda, M/M, chris needs dem views, dan is an evil fucker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7237075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelolbells/pseuds/thelolbells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan has something Chris has wanted for a long time. Dan will give it to him at a price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chris remembers the tremble of his hands. His slow walk up to the famous apartment door. The loud sound of the door opening in front of him. The smug look of Dan as he saw him standing there.

The way Dan let him in, as if they were still the friends they were years ago. The deepness of the taller man’s voice.

_‘Finally taking up my offer after all this time, Chris?_

_Could you not stand the rumours I spread about you?_

_The doubt in people’s minds about you as a Youtuber?_

_Was the idea of rekindled fame from my fans getting you hard?’_

  
_‘I’m glad you turned up, Chris. But in order for us to start filming your comeback video together, you have to keep up your side of the deal._

_Bedroom is where it always has been.’_

  
_‘ I don’t want much for this one video, Chris. But the amount I want will heighten each time you return. I know you’ll return.’_

  
Chris remembers the walk they both made into Dan’s room. He remembers how ironic it was that so many wish to be in here for why he is, but as he stood, he would rather be anywhere else.

He recalls Dan’s hand closing the bedroom door behind them both. The look of pure satisfaction on the other man’s face as he walked closer to him. How he felt himself pushed against the wall.

_‘One kiss, Chris. One kiss that will make your career. I’ve always thought you’d betray your boyfriend for fame.’_

  
Chris remembers the push of lips against his before he could respond. The feel of the hard wall behind his head as chapped lips were forced against his own, the younger man’s tongue shoved roughly into his mouth.

Dan’s warm body pressed against his own.

He remembers the way he began to like it.

As soon as a slight moan had left his mouth, he recollects the way Dan moved away from him, his smug look burned into his brain.

_‘As I said, I didn’t want too much for this video. I knew you’d enjoy it secretly. It’s still an option to leave him, you know. If you dated me, you would have this all the time._

_The fame. Money. Me’._

The stutter in his reply stayed with Chris.

_‘I-I don’t want to leave him. Can we please get this video recorded?_ ’

  
The rest of the recording session was a blur. Bright lights, fake smiles, and equally fake laughs.

As soon as recording finished, he was hurried out the apartment, with an instruction that the edited video will be uploaded in the following few days.

_‘I know how quick you want that quick fix my video will give you. Now go home to PJ, Chris. I have a relationship with my flatmate to maintain.’_

Chris remembers going back to his flat, which he shares with his boyfriend, PJ. The way the light from the moon lit up the hall. He recalls the face of PJ sound asleep in their bed, unaware of the night’s activities.

The sudden warmth of the bed as he had quickly stripped himself of all clothes bar his boxers, wanting to forget about this entire day. 

But as soon as he nearly fell into a deep sleep, the bright light of his phone shone up the room.

He doesn’t bother to check it. 

-

The bright light of the sun pouring in through the window makes him squint around the room as he wakes up.

It’s been two days since the night of recording with Dan, and Chris has not brought it up to PJ at all.

They had gone on with life as normal, full of sleepy mid-morning breakfasts and slow evening kisses.

He tries to not think about how PJ’s kiss sometimes seemed less exciting than Dan’s. He has to stop himself thinking of Dan sometimes.

The sound of Chris’s phone going off fully awoke Chris, who was still lying in bed – PJ was making breakfast in the kitchen.

Chris checked his phone, to find a notification. He felt his stomach drop as he saw what it was.

_Danisnotonfire uploaded a new video – Friend Tag ft. Crabstickz!_

Chris didn’t want to watch the video. He got up and went to join PJ to eat.

The sight of PJ trying not to fall asleep over making some tea make Chris giggle. Chris always liked how his hair flopped slightly when he looked down. He walked over to him, hugging him from behind.

'Morning, thanks for leaving me in bed alone you fuck.’

PJ chuckled at Chris. PJ was half-watching a video on his phone.

‘That’s _good_ fuck to you, shitstickz. Also I didn’t know you made a video with Dan! I thought you didn’t want to work with him anymore?’

Chris had removed himself from PJ now, his mind deep in fear of him somehow finding out about what happened.

He tried to stay nonchalant about it.  
‘He got i-in contact recently, thought I could make my comeback with him. Give the fans what they want, you know?’

PJ mumbles something about Dan _wanting something alright._

Chris ignores that.

‘Well its done something – you’ve gained a huge amount of subscribers from this video alone – but Chris, be careful – you know how I feel about Dan – he always seems to have an _ulterior motive.’_

Chris forces a smile as PJ ends the video and turns to face him completely. 

'I’ll be fine with Dan, babe! The only person to ever touch this is _you_ , even if you leave me alone in bed!’

PJ relaxes slightly at this.

Chris has never felt so ashamed. 

He promises himself that he would never go back to Dan again.

He doesn’t want to lose this for something as trivial as _fame_.


	2. Chapter 2

It took a week of Chris watching his newfound fans, and old ones, rave about the video to begin to ask about another chance of a new video together. When Chris first began to see these requests, he vowed he would just ignore them.

But something deeper, more primal inside of him wanted to feel the high he felt when people when the view count was rising, when his subscriber count was rising, when the amount of people expressing their love for him was rising.

The impede of people watching his content had slowed to a regular number now. 

He itched for the rise again, but kept telling himself he doesn’t want to see Dan again. That he was happy as he is.

But in that moment, as if he was reading his mind, he got a text.

From Dan.

_Dan – 14:43_  
_I’m free, if you fancy making a video? :)_

Chris almost found it funny how friendly the text seemed.

He doesn’t know if it was the timing, his emotions, or a deep urge, but Chris found himself quickly scribbling PJ a note for when he got back from buying art supplies, and leaving the house, armed with his camera.

_Hey Peej, sorry im not home! Got called out to do a video. Will be home later!_  
_Chris x_

He didn’t specify who the video was with.

-

The almost sick familiarity of the white front door to the apartment made Chris suddenly feel a bit uneasy.

But he found himself drawn in anyway. He tapped lightly onto the door.

Dan opened the door, in a style like he was expecting him. He grinned in a smug fashion, and moved aside, letting Chris in.

As he walked in, he felt the bang of the door being shut behind him.

'Back again, are we? People will begin to believe you actually liked me, Chris.’

Chris looked down at the floor. 

‘I-I just wanted to please the fans, you know. I-I have comments wanting another video. So here I am. Ready to make another video.’

Dan raised his eyebrows at Chris’s meek demeanour. 

‘You do know this will still cost you, right?’

Chris nodded. A little bit of him was curious to what today would entail. He tried not to let that show.

They walked silently into Dan’s room, where all the recording equipment was set up. They looked at each other for a minute.

Dan’s eyes were full of fire. Chris’s were full of slight curiosity. Chris saw how the fire on the other man’s eyes had quenched their fire, and filled themselves with an almost soft look.

Dan slowly walked up to Chris. He towered over him a little bit. Chris felt a bit small in comparison. Cupping the back of his head, Dan gently pressed their lips together.

Chris felt Dan’s hand hold the back of his head. It was useless anyway, as Chris found himself leaning in naturally.

He felt his back being pressed against the wall, a change from the force he felt during the last encounter. Dan groaned into his mouth as he pulled him closer.

Chris didn’t try to pull away, but instead released a muffled moan into Dan’s mouth.

The only part of Chris’s brain that wasn’t focusing on this assault of his senses realised that this was not just a test of his reaction – but was an experience being enjoyed.

By both of them. He whined slightly, beginning to feel quite uncomfortable now.

His body wanted this to go further. 

'Dan, please –‘  
Dan pulled away at the sound of Chris’s voice, his face alight with delight at Chris’s embarrassment. 

‘It only took that much to get you this needy?’

‘And to think, you have someone at home as well. Guess he doesn’t mean much when you focus your sights elsewhere?’

Chris looked down at the floor as shame began to slowly flow over him. He didn’t reply.

‘Now that your part of the deal is fulfilled, we can get this video filmed.’

Dan paused before he spoke once more, the high of the power trip draining from him.

‘You never know, Chris, this could be like the old days all over again. Before you left me all those years ago. Before it only took one drink and you found greener pastures.’

Chris interjected, a rush of anger rising through his being.

‘Don’t put the blame on me! I’m not the one who decided to jump onto someone else’s _cock_ when they found they could get them a higher subscriber count – it’s not my fault I wanted greener pastures –'  
Dan’s eyebrows rose at this exclamation.

'Are you saying you’re any better?’

Chris went silent for a bit.

‘Let’s film this video.’

-

After a productive video-making session, Chris was sent out of the flat by a Dan who could almost be described as distracted.

Chris didn’t want to ask about what he was thinking about.

-

It took a few days until the video was uploaded. PJ spoke to Chris about it whilst eating dinner on the day.

'Chris, why didn’t you say you were filming with Dan again?’

Chris paled into his Coke, feeling as if PJ could read his mind.

‘I just never had the time to tell you – it isn’t important, anyway.’

PJ sighed.

‘Its just I told you how I feel about Dan – it just makes me feel like you’re hiding something – ‘

Chris gulped.

PJ didn’t hear and continued.

'- Which is stupid, I know – but just tell me next time?’  
Chris made a vague noise in acceptance.

He didn’t feel like he could talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two down! hope you enjoyed!! :D


	3. Chapter 3

It took a week until Chris got a text again from Dan asking if he would come over. He did. They acted as if they hadn’t argued – neither of them brought it up.

It began to almost become a fortnightly routine, Chris going to Dan’s house. Sometimes Phil was there. Sometimes Phil would film with them. Sometimes Phil wouldn’t.

Chris noticed how unaware Phil was of their ‘deal’. 

Chris was also making his own videos on the side, as well. PJ usually helped film them and edit them. PJ didn’t help to edit any with Dan in.

Chris didn’t even think PJ watched the ones with Dan in anymore.

The increasing demands of these ‘deals’ was beginning to take a toll on him as well.

The toll wasn’t that he felt pressured anymore – he began to enjoy the rough touch of the other man; the way his body was pressed angrily against his own, his hands intertwined in his hair and on his body.

It was a sharp parallel to the soft touches of home – the way PJ made him feel like he was made of glass by the soft touches that adorned his skin.

The toll was, he didn’t know which parallel he preferred anymore.

The guilt which plagued him before he went to Dan’s had begun to melt into nothing. Hiding his bruises and marks were more of a chore now.

Dan’s touch reminded him of the good old days.

PJ was blissfully unaware of the entire situation – he believed that everything was above board – although he had doubts he always fully believed Chris when he said he was just filming.

PJ even believed it when Chris blamed the marks on his neck on allergies.

So it was a shock to PJ when he got a text from Dan.

It was a quiet night in their flat – Chris was fast asleep, and PJ was up late setting up lights for filming tomorrow. The silence was filled with the soft humming from PJ. The atmosphere’s calm.

The shrill tone of his phone made him jump a little bit. PJ checked his phone.

It was a picture of Chris.

And Dan.

Chris was pushed up against a wall, shirt on the floor next to him. Dan had his mouth on his neck. He was winking towards the camera.

_Dan -21:32_   
_Think Chris found greener pastures. X_

PJ felt sick with anger.

He slept on the sofa that night.

-

Chris peeked an eye open the following day, to find the bed empty and cold where PJ should be. Chris didn’t think much of this – he’s used to PJ working through the night on a project.

He slowly walks in to the kitchen, expecting to see a quickly scribbled-on post-it telling him where PJ is.

A note _was_ there.

It _was_ written in scribbled letters. 

_Chris –_   
_Dan showed me what you really do at his._   
_Hope you’re happy._   
_I’m staying at a friends for a couple days._   
_Explain when I get back._   
_-PJ_

Chris felt his stomach drop at PJ’s words. He noticed how much paper had been ripped off the note – a sign that this was the final note of many attempts. He even signed it formally.

_PJ._

It took Chris a while to notice that a small sense of relief had joined his pent-up guilt.

At least he wouldn’t have to hide the marks for a bit.

Chris went to check his phone, and found a text from Dan. A picture was attached of what he supposed Dan had sent PJ. 

_Thought I’d do you a favour and sort out the issue so we aren’t a little secret anymore by sending him this._   
_Im free today?_   
_-Danny x_

Chris considered not going. Instead, going to find PJ.

Apologise.

Say how sorry he is and that he would never see Dan again.

But Chris got another text from Dan.

_It would be a shame of you didn’t come. You’re nearly at a million subscribers now, babe._

Chris felt almost nothing as he left for Dan’s.

-

Dan had begun to leave the door unlocked now. Chris opened the door, and went towards the familiar bedroom.

Dan was already waiting.

'Are you happy now, Dan? You drove my own boyfriend away.’

Dan looked him in the eye.

‘Yes, your boyfriend who you’ve been actively cheating on for weeks upon weeks now. So aren’t you happy you have nothing to hide anymore?’

‘Why don’t we become something now, Chris? We can’t live off whatever is happening now. I still love you, Chris.’

Chris went still at what Dan had said. He wasn’t in a good enough state emotionally to reciprocate.

But he was willing to fake the rekindling of a previous love in order to do well.

So he smiled. 

'And I always loved you, Dan. I want to give us another shot – ‘

Chris was interrupted before he could ask if they could film now.

Dan jumped up and pulled him onto the bed, a primitive smile gracing his features.

‘That is all I wanted to hear. Now all that’s left to do is remember if you still whine for me the way you did years ago.’

Chris felt slightly annoyed they weren’t going to film now, but he felt a jolt of joy at hearing what was happening instead.

So he winked.

Minutes later, PJ was long forgotten.

Turns out he did still whine as he used to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! <3


	4. Chapter 4

Chris didn’t even leave after filming. Dan asked if he wanted to stay the night. Chris remembered how empty his flat is.

So he agreed.

As he lay aside Dan, he felt the other man’s arms around his waist.

He slept a dreamless sleep.

-

PJ didn’t end up going to somebody’s house. He had left for a few hours, and returned during the night, now his head was a bit clearer.

A wave of sadness washed over him when he saw Chris wasn’t home.

He saw, however, his phone in the dining room table.

In curiosity, he turned it on.

He saw Dan’s text to Chris.

The one that read about Dan sending PJ the picture so they _wouldn’t be a secret anymore._

PJ felt like he had been stabbed in the heart.

He went off to the bedroom, and fell face-first onto the bed so he could sleep away the _numb_.

He didn’t even take his coat off.

He cried.

Each tear dragging him closer to sleep.

He slept on the last sob.

-

Chris got used to being awoken with an arm still held tightly around his waist, holding him close to the other man opposite.

Today, weeks on from the last time he visited his flat, nothing was different. Dan is still far in the land of sleep, his heavy breath the only noise in the room.

For a lot of people, this would be enough.

Sharing a bed with a man many lust after, his sheer presence enough to change a career with the amount of backing he has.

It took Chris until this very moment to realise this wasn’t enough.

Chris knows he’s only here for one reason.

He knows that reason isn’t love.

He knows he’s only here because he likes the idea of seeing his follower count rise, his income soar.

He knows he’s only here out of pure displaced lust sparked from a relationship which is still dead to him, and not to Dan.

He knows he’s only here as he’s too scared to go home to a flat without PJ.

The guilt washes over him like a sharp wave from a stormy ocean, freezing every bone in his body.

His mind is buzzing with memories and scenarios and what-ifs.

_Remember when PJ used to always pick up anything crab-related he saw when he went somewhere new, and he always promised to stop, but never did?_

_Remember when PJ used to make up stories from his mind when the thoughts of the future got too much, his deep voice like a sedative?_

_What if PJ does these things with someone else now you left?_

_What if he finds someone better, who doesn’t cheat on them just for their career?_

_Because that’s what you did, Chris_.

Chris looks at Dan, his peaceful sleeping figure a contrast to his very awake mind.

He decides he needs to go home – a place that here will never be.

He slowly extracts himself from Dan, and finds his clothes on the pale floor.

And with that, he left.

No intention to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess which fic is making a return!!!


	5. Chapter 5

The sight of the apartment door made Chris dread the interaction to come, as he had no redeeming argument.

The door was open.

He walked in.

The clock in the lounge alerted him it was around 8 in the morning. So he went into the bedroom.

PJ was found there, asleep, face planted into the pillow.

This made Chris feel worse. PJ never sleeps in when he’s alone.

Chris stared at him a while before mustering up the courage to speak his name.

‘PJ?’

Chris felt bolted in place as PJ stirred from sleep, and noticed him standing there.

He saw a range of emotions flicker across his face, before PJ got up and left the room, not acknowledging him at all.

Chris followed him into the kitchen, where PJ was standing by the kettle.

‘We should talk, PJ.’

The other man stayed silent, and continued making tea.

One cup only.

He softly put the teaspoon down, and sat at the dining table in the other room, not a word spoken.

Chris sat across from him, the silence hurting more than any flying accusation.

‘PJ? Just yell. Please. I know I’m shit. Don’t ignore me. Even if it’s just to say you want to find somebody else. Someone better. _Please_.’

PJ looked up from his tea, a newfound fire in his eyes.

‘You still manage to make it about yourself, don’t you? I don’t need to hear your own pity for yourself. Not for me, who you left behind. For yourself.’

Chris couldn’t look him in the eye as PJ pressed on.

'So what made you come back, Chris? Is Dan suddenly kicking you out of bed – or has he realised?’

Chris looked up at PJ, confused.

'Don’t look confused, you know what I’m talking about. I know you, Chris Kendall. I know you don’t love him.’

‘I know you only got antsy about your own career, and you’re aware I’m useless in any way to advance it, so knocking on the door of one of the most famous men in Britain to help out was the way to go. Who just so happens to be an ex.

'An ex who seems to still feel things.’

‘And you just manipulated him, Chris.’

Chris didn’t even reply. They both know he’s telling the truth. PJ hasn’t finished.

'But you got benefits out of it though, right Chris? High view count and the regular perk of being pinned against a wall and being used any time Dan had a gleam in his eye?’

Silence then fell once more, no one of them moving.

Chris knew he had to say something.

‘PJ – I’m not going to lie. I thought he was the answer to a question I didn’t even know. I’m not even sure I know the question now. But he wasn’t the answer. That’s why I came back. I love you.’

Chris can see the anger in PJ quell down into a new feeling – sadness.

‘I know you won’t forgive me anytime soon. I know you will be angry at me. I know you won’t love me for a long time anymor-‘

Chris feels himself being dragged up from his chair and pulled into a tight hug.

He can feel his eyes beginning to get wet. 

After standing there for a few minutes, PJ speaks into Chris’s ear.

‘Chris, the problem is that I never stopped. And it will take a while for me to forgive you. But as I said before, I know you, Chris Kendall.’

‘I know that you’re not evil. This isn’t an attack on me. Just never speak to that man ever again.’

Chris nodded into PJ’s shirt, and they stood in silence again.

-

It took a week until things began to seem normal again. They were sharing a bed again, and they sat atop it, watching a film. 

The film itself was not in PJ’s interests. Picking it had caused their first round of bickering in a while. They both enjoyed the return of domesticity.

PJ looked at Chris, who wasn’t paying attention either. He was looking at him, a whisper of a smile on his face.

PJ gently lent in and kissed Chris, his hand resting on Chris’s arm, bodies pressed together.

Not in lust, but in something greater; more powerful.

_Love._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...AND ITS OVER! i hope you all enjoyed whatever this fic turned into :D

**Author's Note:**

> well here's the start! :D more coming your way very soon!


End file.
